If Each GOP Candidate Were a Conservative News Site, Which Would They Be?

If you were a tree, what kind of a tree would you be? I’d be a weeping willow because… sigh. More important question about personifying inanimate objects: If the 15 or so Republican presidential candidates were conservative news websites, which ones would they be?

Let’s attempt to answer that question because it’s Monday and we’re all in for a long 497 days until Election Day 2016.

Note: We’d make a companion piece for the Democrats and liberal news sites, but there are only four options. So here goes: Hillary Clinton is the Huffington Post; Bernie Sanders would be Democracy Now!; Martin O’Malley would be ThinkProgress; and Lincoln Chafee would be… oh man, is there even a site out there that would fit the profile?

And now the Republican field (yes, some haven’t announced yet)…

 

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Donald Trump – Breitbart

Think of the most common words used to describe Donald Trump: “Blowhard,” “obnoxious,” “clownish,” “troll,” “windbag,” “xenophobic.” Sounds exactly like the preponderance of material coming out of Breitbart, right? (It also doesn’t hurt that Trump’s unofficial stenographer is the site’s most prized reporter.)

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Marco Rubio – IJReview

Did you know Senator Rubio is young(ish), likes hip hop, uses hashtags, and does clever non-old-person things? He’s one of the cool kids, you guys. #YOLO.

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Ted Cruz – The Right Scoop

If you are a loyal reader of The Right Scoop, you’d come away thinking literally every word uttered by Sen. Ted Cruz is “FANTASTIC” (all-caps required). No, really… take a look. With that in mind, it seems like the most appropriate fit.

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Lindsey Graham – Washington Free Beacon

Because Sen. Graham loves to troll; because he’s never met a war he didn’t like; and because hedespises Rand Paul. Oh, but he also knows it’s all about taking down Hillary Clinton in the end.

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Mike Huckabee – NewsBusters

If there’s a gay person kissing on your television, a voluptuous woman singing about sex on your radio, or a Hollywood celebrity saying something about Republicans or Christianity, Mike Huckabee is there to sermonize against it.

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Scott Walker – NRO

Slightly wonkier than the rest, slightly more buttoned-up, classically conservative in the William F. Buckley tradition, and definitely opposed to unions.

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Rick Santorum – TheBlaze

TheBlaze founder Glenn Beck once described former Sen. Rick Santorum as “the next George Washington,” and while it’s not a perfect fit, both the site and the candidate have an obvious appeal to “Real American” religious conservatives who homeschool their children and are terrified of the coming apocalypse.

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Bobby Jindal – The Daily Signal

Because he got in the race way too late and no one really cares.

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Jeb Bush – The Weekly Standard

Because anything with the name “Bush” or “Cheney” would get the thumbs up from Bill Kristol & Co.

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George Pataki – Power Line

Think of it this way: Years ago, Power Line had its time in the conservative spotlight when it broke the scandal that ended Dan Rather‘s CBS News career. Now, though? No one cares.

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Ben Carson – WorldNetDaily

Because the theory that prison sex proves homosexuality is definitively and always a “choice” is something you’d expect to see next to an article questioning President Obama’s birth certificate or a column suggesting the Sandy Hook school massacre might’ve been staged.

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Carly Fiorina – The Daily Caller

Because, yes, the Daily Caller is a staunchly conservative website that projects a tough-guy attitude, but occasionally it just wants to be a beautiful, strong woman.

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Chris Christie – Wall Street Journal

Well-moneyed, at one time considered the mainstream, and decidedly east coast when it comes to politics. Also because Jeb Bush was already taken.

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Rand Paul – The Federalist

Just like Sen. Paul, conservative website The Federalist has “a viewpoint that rejects the assumptions of the media establishment” and will sometimes surprise you by seeking to engage ideological opponents.

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Rick Perry – RedState

The former Texas governor is as red state as they come. Sure, any of the southern state Republicans could embody the sensibilities of Erick Erickson‘s RedState blog, but the devoutly Christian Gov. Perry has had a long, close relationship with the site. This doesn’t hurt either.

Via: Mediaite

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Extreme makeover Republican edition

The recently announced Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum may be an unremarkable politician whose appeal has been strongest among social conservatives, but he’s right about one thing: The Republican Party needs to stop thinking of itself as an “establishment” party. Santorum, author of “Blue Collar Conservative,” suggests that the GOP seek out a new class base from among the vast majority of voters who feel the economic system is stacked against them. These voters could be persuaded by a demonstrably populist program to support Republicans.

To make such a transformations, the Republicans must somehow deprogram themselves from their Pavlovian support for the agenda of big money, a platform, as Mitt Romney learned, unpalatable to the vast majority of Americans. This shift may be eased by the fact that so much of the country’s wealth – including the super-rich on Wall Street, in Silicon Valley and among Big Media – has aligned with the Democrats. The movement of former Obama administration officials into these industries shows the durability of these linkages.

Geographical Imperative

Ultimately, politics is a ground game played over the geography of the nation. Political philosophy may animate activists, but economic realities define voter self-interest. Republican regions tend to be those with strong energy, agricultural and manufacturing industries. In contrast, the Democrats derive their support from the new “progressive” economy – based on entertainment, media, software and finance as well as a burgeoning nonprofit sector – concentrated along the ocean coasts. These interests have thrived under Barack Obama, and the prospect of eight more years of progressive rule means more subsidies and greater opportunities for everything from green energy to urban real estate speculation, as well as a satisfying blend of social and environmental liberalism widely embraced in these industries.

Via: Orange County Register

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Santorum: Ted Cruz 'Did More Harm' To GOP During Shutdown

Former Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum on Sunday denied that Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) is a leading face in the conservative movement and said the Texas senator hurt the party in his effort to defund Obamacare.

Asked on NBC's "Meet The Press" whether Cruz did more harm than good in risking a government shutdown to derail the health care law, the former Pennsylvania senator said that although Cruz's goal was admirable he did do some damage.

"I would say that in the end, he did more harm," Santorum said. "I think it was not his objective. I think his objective was a laudable one, I think he didn't do a very good job in planning it out. I mean it's one thing to have a goal, and another thing to have a plan to get you to that goal."
Santorum added that part of the Republican Party's problem is that it has no definitive leader at this point in time, unlike the Democratic Party, which has a leader in President Barack Obama.
"But that's always the way it is with a party out of power," he said. "You have lots of different faces and those faces, as we've seen, they come and they go."

During an appearance in Iowa on Friday, Cruz laid the blame for the defund Obamacare effort's failure squarely on the shoulders of Senate Republicans who did not stand behind the House GOP during the government shutdown.

Via: TPM

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