Saturday, August 31, 2013

The Country Needs Help

It used to be said that Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Now that’s been rereleased as Girls Just Want to Be Dumb. They’ve come a long way, from Ms. Cyndi Lauper to Mlle. Miley Cyrus. We expect the former Hannah Montana will now cluck her tongue at us for daring to argue against exposure. My, what a wicked smile she has. Not bad for someone who is regularly carded.
Ms. Janet Napolitano sure dodged a bullet there. Once the spitting image of the young Ms. Cyrus, she swallowed her vanity and chose a more productive form of public performance. Indeed, some would say she went on to become the nation’s leading problem solver. Her crowning moment came the other day in what was advertised as her farewell address as Secretary of Homeland Security. (Why it wasn’t delivered before a joint session of Congress we’ll leave for another occasion.) In dead seriousness, or maybe simply out of a deep Romantic sensibility, she said she’d welcomed the many disasters she faced during her tenure, including hurricanes, oil spills, prostitution scandals, terrorist plots, and the Boston bombing. Responding to these kept her department “flexible and agile,” she teased, and then delivered her full spiel about how these events “presented new opportunities for us to learn, grow, and get better at what we do as a department and a nation.” As Ann Landers and Dear Abby used to advise most of their readers, this woman needs to seek professional help. And we can be sure she’s going to the right place to do just that. Dr. Napolitano (we presume) is moving on to become president of the University of California. Miss Cyrus will have to finish high school before she can dream of doing that.

No comments:

Popular Posts